Hetalia Gets Skooled
by Maid of Blood
Summary: When Grandpa Rome gets tired of seeing them act like spoiled teenagers, he makes them all spoiled teenagers and sends them to an American High school. Use of human and country names. T for language and things that only teens can understand. UNFINISHED, NEVER WILL BE FINISHED.
1. Grandpa Rome has enough

**Well, this is a Hetalia project that is being written by three authors. Me, sparkeylove14, and Maffew sunshine. If you like Hetalia, Popular and Not-so-popular pairings, crazy randomness, and the Bad Touch Trio, then this is the story for you.**

**Btw, I understand how weird this is but the story will occasionally jump around from third person to first and switch POVs a lot.**

Though Roman Empire didn't attend world meetings and was rarely seen by anyone except Italy and his allies, he was what you would call a creeper. Being basically dead gave him the ability to seem almost as Canada did. Not there.

So, The Great Roman Empire watched the world meetings in secret. He was disgusted with the way almost all world conferences went about.

All the nations hated each other and constantly made catty remarks just to see if they could get someone angry. It was as if they were nothing more than petty, spoiled teenagers.

Roman Empire gasped suddenly. He had an idea.

After the world conference ended yet again unresolved. Rome approached Britain.

"Ciao Arthur! Would you mind-a doing me a favor?"

Britain's eyes grew the size of pizzas. "Why, you're... You're... You're..."

Rome rolled his eyes. "Ce, I am The Great Roman Empire. Now about that favor..."

It took a bit to convince him, but Rome eventually was able to borrow his magic spell book.

After five hours of boiling strange ingredients over a fire, Rome finally had the potion. Once again, he attended a world meeting. It was a big one, even Prussia attended.

During their bathroom break, Rome put three drops of the clear, odorless and tasteless potion into their water glasses.

Satisfied, Rome leaned against the wall and waited.

America entered followed by all the others in an orderly fashion.

"Well dudes, before we get the meeting started, I say we should all take a simultaneous drink of water." America said in his loud, obnoxious half-yell.

The other countries nodded as they picked up their cups. Rome face-palmed. He hadn't expected it to be that quick or dumb.

"Ready? One, two, three!" They all drank and Rome face-palmed again.

All the countries began to shimmer and scream as they were transported to a large boat.

Rome realized that he was almost a mile taller than the other countries as they all stood on the huge gondola moving at super-sonic speeds through what seemed like clouds.

"Ciao Hetalia nations!" He said happily.

Italy grinned ear-to-ear. "Hey there-a Grandpa Rome!"

Rome's heart filled with joy at the voice of his sweet grandson.

America spoke up. "Um, dude what the hell?"

Britain stepped into the conversation. "My sentiments exactly, little brother."

Rome cast his eyes upon the nations and spoke with a voice that reminded them of the time when he was the most powerful on the planet. "I made a potion that would-a turn-a you into what you have become."

As he spoke, the nation's clothes began to shimmer and change into more modern looking wear.

"I'm-a sick of the constant fighting and-a bickering. You act-a like a bunch-a teenagers and now you get to be how-a you act!"

America was jumping up and down in rage. "What? Dude, that's totally not fair."

"And" Rome continued. "You lose your immortality."

The clothes had completely changed now, but no one was really paying any attention to them as a transparent double of themselves jumped out of them and flew away.

" 'Old on a second! Where are we going?" France shouted. Various other nations shouted out similar worries.

Rome chuckled at this. "An American high school."

"WHAT?" Everyone shouted.

"Oh," Rome went on. "All family ties have-a been erased too. So, Britain and America are-a no longer brothers and Belarus-" He paused as he was momentarily disturbed by the way Belarus was staring at her brother. "Russia's fair game."

Ukraine was now standing a good six feet away from Belarus with the same creepy look for her little brother. Russia was turning an intriguing shade of green.

"Wait, you can't just come in here and-" Britain made a gagging sound and clamped a hand firmly over his mouth. "Bloody hell!" He said after removing his hand. "I sound like America. My accent's completely gone!"

Suddenly the boat was filled with chatter as the countries discovered that they had lost their normal accent and gained an American one.

Of course, America looked pretty self-righteous at the moment because he had not lost nor gained any accent. That is, he looked self-righteous until he saw the horrendously dorky clothes he had on.

"Dude!" America screamed. "We aren't gonna stay like this forever right?"

Rome smiled again. "Maybe if-a you earn it."

The Roman Empire kneeled down to pat his grandsons' heads and to give Germany the evil eye. "Ciao Hetalia nations. Have-a fun!"

Rome disappeared and the giant gondola dissolved beneath the nations.

The next thing they knew, they were falling.


	2. New Names and a New Girl

**Hey guys, this chapter is written by me, sparkylove14. I'm excited about this chapter and I hope you enjoy. :)**

**America's P.O.V**

Well he wasn't shitting us when he said we would be placed in an American school.

I looked like a total dork thanks to him.

I was wearing khaki shorts.

Really dude?

My school I.D said may name was Al.

Looks like he gave us all modern American names.

"Why couldn't he give me a cooler name like Max Fire N' Ice?" I blurted.

"Because you'd sound like a condom, not a person." France or should I say Frankie, butted in.

He was wearing a leather jacket, a white tee, and a pair of jeans.

Awwww why couldn't I get a leather jacket!

"Don't I look awesome in this jacket?" Prussia now known as Gill smirked.

He got a jacket too?

FML.

"Yhea I got one too guys!" Spain or Anthony agreed.

Oh I see.

Bad touch Trio gets bad ass leather jackets.

For once I would like to be a rapist.

"So looks I'm Lucas now." Germany said unhappily. His dog tags still remain. He does seem pleased with his camo shorts, though.

"How about you Japan?"

"Kevin." he said also displeased.

"Well it is better than Honda" Poland snickered.

"Oh and how about you, you sassy gay bastard, what name did he stick you with?" Japan said defensively, folding his arms over a robot shirt he was now proudly wearing.

"Felix. I got to keep my own name!" he said smug, in his Polo shirt and jeans.

"How about you big brother, what is yours?" Belarus or Natalie kissed him on the cheek, trying a shot on her now "fair game", and flaunted her new pocketed skirt.

"Evan." he wipes his cheek with his armbands that looked like pieces of his scarf.

"Mine is Sasha." Ukraine said gleefully kissing her brother's other cheek. I see she still has very big boobs, so things aren't too bad.

"Oh shit, where's my kiwi?" a strange girl said.

I didn't recognize her. She was wearing a lot of black eye makeup, had blue and black hair, large brown eyes, was wearing a shirt with some sort of flag on it, showing mid drift, and shorts.

"Um, who the hell are you? "I asked the mysterious girl.

"I'm New Zealand or now I guess my name is Stephanie. England used to use me as a jail cell like a total asshole. So before we leave here if we do, I will earthier have brutally slaughtered him and maybe a few others, or we will both come to some agreement. But that's not very likely of happening."

"I like her!" Natalie evilly smiled.

"But other than that, you guys never really noticed Me." she said kind of pissed.

Canada now Matt floats in, "I know how that feels."

They both do some odd handshake.

The bell rang.

"Someone shoot me now." I muttered.

"Don't temp me." Stephanie and Natalie said simultaneously.


	3. Yes, I'm gay It's hilarious

**Alright! This chapter is written by none other than Maffew Sunshine! ENJOY OR PERISH!**

Poland's POV

My first hour class was P.E., great. I entered the locker room only to see what seemed to be a dick size contest. I imediatly shielded my eyes. I might be gay, but I don't want to see that.

The biggest guy (not like that you perves!) put it up and came my way. "You looking at my junk, queer boy?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes. "It's hard not to when you've got your baby penis flopping about!" I yelled, anger taking away my valley girl tone. Unfourtunatly, my voice still sounded unbeliveably gay.

"Well, well, well, it looks like we really do have a faggot among us!" The douche bag said with a smirk.

Oh. No. He. Didn't.

The extreame rage flowing through me rushed my inner valley girl voice back and better than ever before. "Look here, Bucko! Just because I'm, like, gay doesn't mean you can, like, call me a faggot and stuff!"

The boys simply laughed and went back to their competition.

I went to the other side of the locker room, hoping for more caring and intelligent souls, only to find Germany- I mean Lucas, Italy- I mean Phil, and Lithuania- I mean Toris. Joy.

"Hey Tory!" I greeted flirtatiously.

"H-hi Felix..." He said nervously.

I love it when he's nervous.

I pinched his ass just to see how far I could go when Lucas yelled at me.

"Will you please control your self!"

I stopped and instead changed ito my pink gym clothes that came in the satchel that appeared during the crazy clothes change thingy on the gondala.

When class started, we did these strange exercises that looked highly sexual and I couldn't keep up with. "Woah, woah, woah, like, slow down Jillian Michelles! These streatches look like sex positions and I know for a fact that this isn't Sex Ed because I don't see Frankie anywhere!" I snapped.

All my rant got me was the nickname "Fairy Boy" and detention.

And it's only first hour.


	4. Lets all choke 2 death in the lunch room

**Hey! It's me Darkluvumbreon again! Sorry about the wait. I've actually had this written for about a month now. I just didn't have the motivation to type it. **

**Note: China is going to be a girl in this. If that's considered Gen-ben to you then so be it. But the China here is a female.**

**Other Note: Stephanie's name is pronounced Stef-FAWN-nee. Not STEF-fin-nee. **

Belarus's POV

The first four hours left me nothing but irritated.

That New Zealand girl, Stephanie, was in a few of my classes and proved to be a good conversational companion.

Other than the prospect of having a new friend, this situation sucked and so did the people.

Finally, it was lunch time and I was surprised to see that all of us 'nations' had the same lunch hour. Probably a purposeful thing designed by that Roman bastard.

Russia- I mean, Evan sat down at a circular table looking bored. I decided to give him something to do.

I half ran to the table before I was stopped suddenly by a girl.

She was a normal American human and just by looking at her I could tell there wasn't the slightest spark of intelligence within her. She was dress in a body hugging, sparkely pink top and a micro mini jean skirt. A sparkely pink headband held her unnatural blond hair in place.

She spoke three words. "Who are you?"

Though I knew it wasn't her fault, I was enraged. Didn't these people know the difference between a normal commoner and the second greatest nation in the world? (The first being Russia, of course.)

"Who am I?" I replied hotly. "I am the mighty Bela-"

I cut off in a fit of chocking and sputtering. It appeared that I wasn't allowed to address myself by my country name, lest I choke on my words.

The problem was, after thirty seconds, I was still coughing.

By then, the idiot girl had left. I was kneeling on the dirty cafeteria floor, hacking up a lung, alone.

_Why hasn't Evan come to help me?_ I wondered.

Then Toris saw me. "What's going on?" He shouted as he ran up to me.

He pulled my hair back and started rubbing my shoulders. He'll pay for that.

He was still frantically talking to me. "Are you okay Bela-" he said before he himself broke off in a fit of coughing and sputtering.

Idiot.

Of course, Felix saw Toris and ran to his side.

"Like, oh my gawd!" He yelled. "Are you okay Lithu-"

And of couse that set him off on a (fabulous) coughing fit.

By then, other normal kids were staring at the freaks drowning in the air. So much for fitting in and keeping a low profile.

Al and Arthur were just comming in. Al started to make fun of us. "Ha! Look at Pol-"

And he started to cough.

Arthur looked worried. "What's wrong Amer-"

If I could've, I would've punched them in the head.

Sasha entered and looked like she was talking to herself untill I looked hard enough and saw that Matt was there.

Of course my 'sister' ran up to me. "Are you okay Bela-"

This was getting old.

Canada asked what was wrong with her and soon joined us in the coughing attacks.

Prussia- I mean, Gil came over along with the rest of The Bad Touch Trio. They looked at us and, without a word, walked away.

Assholes.

Soon China-I mean, Amy and Japan- I mean, Kevin joined our little party after Kevin expressed concern for Al and Amy expressed concern for Kevin.

The only ones left were Evan and Stephanie.

Stephanie went to get us some water.

I looked at Evan pleadingly. Begging him to help me with my eyes. He simply smiled and said four words. "What's wrong with Belarus?"

Abruptly, our coughing came to a halt and we all stood up and dusted ourselves off.

Arthur's face was red in anger as he started shouting at Evan. "How in the bloody hell can you say it?"

Al patted him on the back. "Dude, you gotta stop saying that. It doesn't sound right without the accent."

Arthur shed a tear and we all left lunch hour with nothing to eat.


	5. Animals In Strange Places

**Alright! This chapter was written by me, Sparkylove14! Also, I'm going to point out that Stephanie's (New Zealand's) name is pronounced ste-FAH-nee. Enjoy!**

New Zealand's POV

Well the day was finally over. After the choking fit at lunch and loseing Kiwi, I didn't know how the day could get any shittier.

I admit that I was pretty good at history, but I'm willing to bet we all were.

We all walked outside to see a giant-ass mansion across the street from the school.

I'm also willing to bet that that wasn't there before.

Al ran up to it and we all followed him as he screamed "Oh Sweet!"

Gill pushed his way through us with the help of Frankie and Anthony untill he was standing on the front porch and read the carving on the door. "It says Hetalia on it." We all gasped and he smirked. "An awesome house for the awesome me!" He said before he opened the door and ran in.

We all entered and took in our beautiful new house.

"Ve! Oh this house is so beautiful!" Italy- I mean, Phil exclaimed. "We have a pretty house, and a pretty toliet, and a pretty yard! Oh Lucas! Can we get a pretty tree for the pretty yard? Tree? Please?"

"No tree." Lucas says as he looks for his room.

Felix jumped up and started talking to Phil. "Oh Philly it is pretty! So pretty I could sing! La La-" He was interupted my a hard punch in the face.

"Don't." Natalie said, cringing.

I giggled in spite of myself and ran up the swirling staircase to find my room.

I stumbled apon a door that had a sign saying Stephanie & Natalie. So I guess we have roomies? At least it's not with that bastard, Arthur.

Luckily, he and Frankie were roomates. As well as Al and Kevin, Amy and Lizzie (Hungary), Gill and Anthony, Evan and Matt, Felix and Rodger (Austria), Lucas and Lovi (Romano), Phil and Sasha, Erik (Switzerland) and Lilly (Lichtenstein). The Baltics had a room just for them and Peter (Sealand).

I walked into the turret room to see that Natalie was already making her self at home.

On my bed was a pack of cigarettes and a lighter with the flag of New Zealand on it.

Maybe the Roman bastard isn't so bad after all.

"Oh hoho, he should've known better than to give me a switchblade!" Natalie said, grinning evily.

"Sweet!" I said, unfazed. "Can I see it Bela-" I started to cough. Except I felt like I was going to puke. I could feel something crawl up my throat.

"God, didn't you learn anything from our little demonstration at lunch?" My roomate asked, obviously annoyed with the coughing.

The lump in my throat came out of my mouth and fell into my hands.

"OH MY GOD! Kiwi! How in the hell did you get in my throat?" I asked, shocked and disgusted.

"Kiwi!" He said confused.

"Is that all he says?" Natalie asked.

"No, it just feels more natural for him to have a 'signature sound' as he calls it, so he can feel more like a 'normal' animal, except je feels stupid to to actually make a bird call so he says 'Kiwi' instead. Between you and me, I think it's just cause he sounds like a girl." I giggled.

"Kiwi." He said in a harsh tone.

"Don't mouth off to me, you little turd!" I said jokingly.

He climbed onto Natalie's head. and chirped another "Kiwi!"

"You know, he is sorta cute" My roomie said. She then proceeded to pick him up by his legs. "Is this how you hold him?" She sounded evily curious.

"NO!" I cried.

"Oh," she said, confused. She then picked him up by the beak. "This better?"

"Kinda..." I cringed.

She started to toss him in the air. Kiwi was making a noise that sounded like "MUUURRR".

"He's fun!" She said as she tossed him.

"Uh, Nattie, Kiwi can't fly!" I warned, trying to grab him.

She caught him by the beak and said sweetly evil "Oh, then I'll teach him. To the roof Kiwi!" She ran out the bedroom door.

I was about to faint when I heard more coughing downstairs. Idiots.

I went down to see Gill coughing untill a little yellow bird flew out of his mouth and onto his head. "Gilbird!" He squeed. He then ran to show the rest of his trio.

More people started to gather around untill Amy collapsed on the floor in pain and proceeded to (nastily) puke up her panda.

Okay, now this was just getting weird.

Suddenly, we heard a large thud and for once we all noticed Matt come out of the bathroom with Kumajiro in his arms. " I just shat my bear!" He said, mortified.

We thought it was over untill we heard a girlish shriek from outside. We ran out to find Felix sitting onhis horse.

"Okay, even I don't want to know how Pony got here..." Frankie said, horrified.

"Oh I, like, totally found him in my closet!" He giggled.

"Oh, like where we found you?" Arthur snickered. The rest of the nations chuckled at his joke.

"Man," Phil said. "Grandpa Rome has a sick sense of humor."

Evan approached me. "Hey, I heard you coughing a minuet ago, are you okay? You're not going to shit a kangaroo are you?" He said with a worried expression.

"Oh, I already did, my kiwi actual- KIWI! Nattie still has my Kiwi!" I ran outside and hear Nattie shouting "Okay Kiwi! 3... 2... 1... GO!". I heard Kiwi's "MUR!" and felt something fall on my head.

"Kiwi!" He chirped, exausted.

"Oh hi Kiwi." I smirked.

Today was an awkward day. I am not excited about any new surprises we have in store.


	6. Baltic Space & Other Fun Arguements

**A/N: This is what we consider a fun chapter. No plot whatsoever takes place here. Just comedy. ENJOY! This chapter was written by both Sparkylove14 and Darkluvumbreon**

Roman Empire's POV

Well, things are a bit boring since the brats left. I wonder how they're doing.

I used another one of Arthur's spells to check up on them without them knowing I'm there.

_Arthur and Frankie's Room:_

Arthur was taking a shower and was blissfully ignorant of the fact that a naked Frankie had just entered the bathroom.

Frankie suddenly reached his hand in and knocked the soap out of Arthur's hand.

"Hey," He said creepily. "You dropped something..."

_Meanwhile in another room!_

_Amy and Lizzie's room:_

Lizzie was looking everywhere for something before she called out to her roommate. "Hey Amy! Do you know where all my skirts are?"

The small Asian lady looked up and opened her closet to reveal skirts that were obviously Lizzie's. "They belong to me now." She said simply.

Lizzie's face turned red in anger and she pulled out her frying pan. "Give. Them. Back." She growled.

Amy readied her wok. "Make. Me." She challenged.

Suddenly the two manliest women you'll ever meet gave shrill battle cries and jumped into the air for an epic battle over skirts.

_Meanwhile in another room!_

Kevin walked into a room filled with greasy wrappers and a satisfied Al lying on the couch finishing yet another hamburger.

"Al, what's with all the wrappers on the ground?" Kevin sighed knowing he was going to have to clean up his mess.

"Kev!" he jumped off the couch. "Sorry I got a bit hungry dude." he yawned.

"A bit?" Kevin's eyes widened. But the American was too busy stripping naked to pay attention.

"Al! What the hell are you doing?" he blushed furiously.

"Well duh! I'm all greasy, so I'm gunna go wash off!" he rape smiled at him sarcastically.

_Meanwhile in another room!_

I go to Felix and Roger's room to see Felix pounding on the piano like a tone deaf idiot.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO MY PIANO!" Roger sputtered furiously.

"I am playing a lovely melody for all to hear!" Felix giggled violently pounding the piano.

"Get off now!" he cringed at the sight of his precious instrument being groped by a Pole.

"That sir, would be a no!" he smiled casually.

"Fine. But I'm listening to my iPod with some actual music on here, and not some nonsense that sounds like you're playing with your ass." he swipes his iPod off the table and walks into over to his bed to see a Pony laying non-chalalltly on his bed.

"Felix! Why the fuck is Pony on MY bed?" Roger screams.

"He's taking a nap, duh." Felix says like it's a casual thing, which for him, it probably is.

"Well why can't he take a nap on YOUR bed?" he argues.

"My bed is too close to the window and Pony doesn't want the sun in his eyes." he smiles.

Roger then repeatedly bangs his head against the wall.

_Meanwhile in another room!_

Matt seems to be taking a lovely nap just as Evan walks in from the bathroom.

He then proceeds to stretch, yawn, and lays down on top of Matt face to face, not even noticing he's there.

Matthew is now crying and Evan is asleep.

_Meanwhile in another room!_

I stubble upon Phil painting Sasha's nails while her feet are soaking in a warm bath.

"Ph-phil, you don't have to do all this for me!" She insisted, yet smiling.

"No! No! I insist! You are the lady of the room! Plus this pretty color goes so well with your skin tone! A beautiful girl needs to feel beautiful!" he grins continuing to paint her nails.

She begins to cry, "No one has ever said that to me before!"

_Meanwhile in another room!_

Eric and Lily are just sitting at the table, Eric drinking coffee and Lily looking a bit sad.

"B-big brother-" she began.

"I'm not your big brother anymore Lil." he said not even looking up.

Tears fill her eyes as he finally looks over.

He puts down his mug and sighs, "Fine you can make me a sandwich."

Lily squees and runs into the kitchen.

_Meanwhile in another room!_

I go to a bigger room where Toris, Edward, Travis, (better known as the Baltic States) and Peter are all sharing a room.

Toris is drawing a line through the room where the Baltics are clearly getting way more space then they need leaving Peater with almost nothing but his bed and a nightstand.

"This line represents where you will not cross." Edward says, enforcing rules, feeling powerful for once without Evan there to knock him upside the head.

"That's totally unfair!" Peter whines.

"Well you should feel right at home, having almost no territory." Travis smirks.

"But-" Peter is cut off by Travis.

He points to their side, "Baltic space." then points to Peter's side, "Peter."

"But I-"

"Baltic Space."

"Hey-"

"Peter."

"Dude-"

"Baltic Space."

"You are an ass."

"Peter."

"Oh and by the way, we also have the door." Edward grinned menacingly.

"Well I have the window! Much cooler exit." Peter said pointing to the window.

Toris quickly erases line next to the window, and drew it around the window.

"Hey! That's not fair!" Peter growled.

"Baltic Space!"

"Come on!"

"Peter."

"URRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!"

_Meanwhile in another room!_

I come into another room also trying to divide up the space.

"Alright you potato eating bastard, this is my half of the room!" Lovi shouted.

"Oh don't be serious. Are you really gonna do this?" Luke sighed.

"Yes I am and to show you how serious I am, I'm taking your potatoes!" Lovi sticks out his tounge.

"That's ok, I'll get more later." Luke walks away.

"NO! Come back here and fight me like a man you asshole!" Lovi stops his feet.

"Don't get your curl in a knot." he walks out of the room.

_Meanwhile in another room!_

I see Anthony and Gil are getting along.

Gil is just sitting and reading a book to Gilbird, and Anthony is watching a soccer game.

"Wanna hang out with Frankie later?" Gil suggests, not looking up from the book.

"Sure." Anthony agrees.

An awkward silence.

"I'm gonna go look up porn." Gil gets up and walks to his computer.

"Use earphones, then tell me when it's my turn."

_Meanwhile in another room!_

I go to check up and see if Nattie has injured Stephanie yet.

It seems Steph is making dinner and it smells awful.

"Ok, dinner's ready!" she puts down a small pie-looking item in front of Natalie's face.

"Uh, Steph, what is this?" she seemed to back away from it, disgusted.

"It's just a meat pie." Stephanie said reassuringly.

Nattie shrugs and takes a bite, "Well, it's not as bad as I expected. What kinda meat is this anyways?"

"Kangaroo."

The long hair girl drops the meat pie and pulls the switchblade from a thigh sheath she had recently sewed on.

"You fed me what?" the blade swings out from the wood carving as she flings it across the room, scathing past Stephanie's head and cutting off a side of her hair.

"I think I need a cigarette." tears filled up her eyes as she felt the side of her head that was now buzzed.

A few minutes later, she comes back in and Nattie is in the kitchen.

"Look, I feel bad about the whole hair thing, so I decided since you were kind enough to cook dinner, I guess I'll make desert." she said as she was chopping up a small fuzzy brown and green fruit.

"Hey, so what's that small fuzzy brown and green fruit you're chopping up?" she gets kiwi and puts him on the counter as she leans on the table.

"Here, try some." she hands them each a piece.

As they chew, "Hey this is good, what did you say it was called?"

"Kiwi."

Kiwi throws up and falls off the countertop passing out. "YOU SICK SICK FUCK."

Steph quickly grabs the knife and points it at Natties throat.

_Meanwhile in another room!_

"Baltic Space!"

"But I-"

"Peter!"

"But!"

"Baltic."

"I-"

"Space."

"Guys-"

"Peter."

"I fucking hate you."


	7. Bitchy Poland

**This is the new and improved chapter that I had deleted before. For a good reason. Who else agrees with me that that was half assed? Whatever,** **this was written by Maffew Sunshine and Grammer Nazied by Darkluvumbreon.**

Poland's POV

I decied to take a stroll through the house. I came downstairs to find Frankie watching what I expected to be a very naughty graphic pornography.

But was suprised to see... Strawberry Shortcake...

_What the fuck?_

I walked outside to find the most wonderful garden, like Lizzies back home. I saw Gil sitting with his bird. I was about to say hi when I was inturupted by him talking to his bird.

"No Gilbird, don't look she's bathing." he covered the small yellow creatures eyes

_What the hell is up with these people?_

"Okay, you can look now."

I briskly walked away.

This garden was very impressive. It had a bed of every national flower and I had made it my personal goal to find pansies.

On my quest I saw Liet and went and sat by him. he was reading a book.

"Hey Tori, watcha readin'?"

He slammed the book shut and yelled "Nothing."

The cover read "Ways to Get Belarus to Love Me."

_Oh hell no._

I got mad.

Really mad.

"Dude, she's like into incest and your certainly not her bother. Look at you! You don't have Evan's strong arms and and... you were just some weak country that win anything without me before we got into this mess!" He whimpered and ran off to the house.

Not realizing exactly what I had done, I went back to looking for the pansies.

Time skip to the next morning!

I went down to breakfast, everyone was sitting at the table eating , Al was, of course, being a pig.

I sat by Gil who instantly yelled at me. "You're in my awesome space!"

"Your in my fabulous space." I said back cooly.

"My awesome space is bigger."

I smirked "I know." I said, referring to the time when we were married.

Everyone laughed their asses off, and the Prussian simply looked down at his plate, embaressed.

I looked over to Lithuania, he was avoiding my eye.

Odd.

I shrugged it off. _Oh well._

Today P.E. went off without a hit. We played dodge ball and I could have sworn that Liet was trying to hit me.

Now here I am trapped in Science class:

"Now class gravity is what holds us to the Earth." Said the creepy looking teacher.

"Hey Gil didn't you invent gravity?" I whispered to him.

He jumped up, eyes widened. "Gravity is a trademark of Preußen!" yelled the Albino.

The teacher simply looked at him weirdly and told him to take his seat.

"Dude! Everytime you say gravity you owe me five bucks!" He screamed.

I slid a five dollar bill across the table for saying it earlier.

"Solicitation! Solicitation!" yelled the teacher. "Detention!"

Prussia laughed. "I'm to awesome for detention!"

"Fine then office!"

Gil considered arguing but just left saying something about "Too awesome" and "Stupid ass pricks"

Later in Study hall...

**Text message: **Hey Liet are you okay?

I was starting to worry about him. He wasn't talking to me, he didn't even sit with me at lunch.

_"I WANNA SEE YOUR PEACOCK COCK COCK COCK COCK_"

I looked around.

_Whos phone was that?... _

_Oh Holy Rome... It's mine..._

Everyone was looking at me. The teacher was in front of me now, hand held out. I gave her the phone.

So much for a day free of embaressment...

Later in the halls...

I was at my locker and heard this

"You can't see my peacock faggot!"

I dissmissed it, assuming Frankie was up to something.

"Nice ringtone asshole!"

Okay... maybe they were refering to me. Well fuck. Off to detention.

Yet another time skip!

Detention was boring as fuck! I didn't even get my phone back until the end. I had over 15 texts all from Toris.

**Text Message From Liet : **NO! NO I AM NOT OKAY FELIKS! YOU JUST UNLEASHED EVERY INSECURITY I'D EVER HAD OUT! I CAN'T STAND TO LOOK AT YOU! YOU'RE A BASTARD FELIKS! A HORRIBLE HEARTLESS BASTARD

I... wanted to cry... I don't want to go home now...

"Hey Mr. Feliks" I turned around to see Lili. "I don't know how to get home." I smiled "Come on sweety, I'll take you home." I took her hand.

The whole walk home consisted of us debating on whether ponies or bunnies were better.

She won.


	8. Crushin' On The New Girl!

**Hey guys, this chapter is being written by SparkyLove14! Darkluvumbreon is BEING LAZY. But we will have Prussia's P.O.V. up next! **

**Oh, my! Did we just do two updates in one day? YES, YES WE DID. DEAL WITH IT. **

**Russia's P.O.V.**

It was a long day at school, and I was busy doing homework.

And by doing homework, I mean stalking New Zealand. I can't help it; the blue hair is just fascinating.

Currently she is baking something in the oven and it smells horrid. But I don't care. She is talking to Amy.

"So how did you get the frying pan out?" she winced at her.

Her timer thankfully beeped. "Yay they're done!" she squeed. She ran to a smoking oven with mitts on.

When she bent over, I noticed she was wearing a blue thong, making me blush uncontrollably.

She ran over to me in a hopping motion with a hot tray of what looked like deep fried hockey pucks. "Hey Commie," she said. I'll let that slide 'cause she's too cute when she says it. "Want a scone?" she smiled.

"Sure!" I immediately grabbed one. It felt like a layer of my skin just burned off, but I sit there smiling all embarrassed.

"Well, are you gonna eat it?" the blue haired nation raised a brow.

I laughed, still flustered and bit down. It hurt like a mother fucker. I thought I heard a crack, but I kept on munching 'till that abomination was out of my hand.

"How was it?" she grinned, pleased that I didn't spit any of it out.

"Great, my I have another?" I asked. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Why the hell did I just say that?

She gave me another and ran into another room to hand out her "treats".

I quickly ran upstairs and walked into the room silently.

Matthew was talking to Kumara like he was his therapist.

"I just get so nervous around her, it's nothing like when we were kids." he told him.

Aw, what's got the little maple jockey all self-conscious? It's almost kind of cute.

"She just makes my tummy full of butterflies, and I'm sure I didn't eat any butterflies lately." he went on, then proceeded to look out the window, day dreaming.

"Oh Steph, you're the only one who has ever cared. But you'll never fall for a guy like me..." he trailed off.

Oh no he doesn't.

"Like hell she will" I cut in furiously.

"You can see me? Finally someone can see me!" he exclaimed, jumping up.

"That's not a good thing you moose loving pussy." I started to walk towards him in a threatening motion.

"Wha- Ev- What's this about?" he said, backing towards the window.

"NZ will become one with Russia! And there is nothing you can do about it." I said triumphantly.

"N-no." he stomped.

"Excuse me?" I was taken aback by this change in character.

"I like her too, and you can't just take her like that, I won't let you!" the Canadian frowned.

I laughed like a mad man. "I don't think you understand! I am fucking insane, and I will kill you if you get in my way!" I curled my fist.

"You d-don't scare m-me! I really like her and she makes me feel like a person!" he argued.

"That's it. I'm going to kill you. I'm going to wait till you fall asleep. I'm gonna stand over you. And I'm going to kill you. This is not a joke. You are going to die." I picked up a chair.

"Hey hammer-sickle, I made some mo-" NZ dropped her tray of scones at the sight of me about to attack Canada.

She ran over in front of him. "What the hell man, put down the chair!" she insisted and I did so.

"Mattie, are you alright?" she ran to him, giving him a hug. He proceeded to stick his tongue out at me.

He will pay.


	9. Meet Leia

**Gah! It's finally done! I thought I was going to die of writer's block. Now if you excuse me, Sparky and Maffew are going to kill me for taking so long.**

**Warning: strong language ahead.**

The awesome Prussia's POV

I don't see what has all those losers groaning. The school isn't that bad.

Plenty of girls all over the place.

And such variety. Blond, Brunette, slutty, sluttier, and Belarus.

There's always the ones you just don't mess with...

Anyways, My awesome trio and I were about to make the entrance that would win the hearts (among other things) of all the ladies in the place and make all the unawesome guys respect us.

We had our leather jackets on and on the back they read:

On mine: _**BAD**_

On Frankie's: _**TOUCH**_

On Anthony's :_** TRIO**_

We burst through the doors like the awesome badasses we are, with me walking in the middle.

"Bonjour, ladies " Frankie cooed at all the people watching us.

Anthony didn't say anything untill we passed his little boy toy of an angry Italian. He got ready to call out to him put the awesome me put hand on his shoulder.

"No, let him go. We can't mess up this awesome entrance." I said cooly. He nodded and smiled at Lovino, who in turn scowled and went back to his locker.

I looked over and saw a cute blond girl. I winked at her.

She looked disgusted and flipped me off.

_What the fu-_

_Shit, that's Belarus!_

Did I say cute? I meant... Evil.

So, we were looking like the awesome badasses we are for a minute before I heard snickering behind me and Lucas tapped me on the shoulder.

We stopped walking and I turned around. "Sup West?"

My (ex?) brother sighed. "Gil..." He stopped and tried again. "Look at what your jackets say."

I laughed. "Kesesesese... I know what they say! We're the awesome Bad Touch Trio!"

"Then why does it say Touch Bad Trio?"

_Shit..._

I looked at Frankie on my left. Sure enough, his said _**TOUCH **_ like it was supposed to.

"Gott verdamnt... Frankie, switch me spots!" I shouted at him.

"Oui!" He said as we switched.

I turned around to my brother who really wasn't my brother now... Jeeze this is complicated.

"Hey Lucas!"

He turned around. "Yeah?"

"Danke."

He smiled and went back to to talk to Phil some more.

It was after class when we saw her.

long blond hair, 6 feet of nothing but bare legs, mini skirt, purple tube top and 10 IQ points to top it all off.

Fuckin' perfect.

I nudged Frankie who, in turn, nudged Anthony. They both looked at me and I held up three fingers and waved them twice, meaning formation three with Frankie speaking first.

And people say we aren't bright...

Anthony and I leaned against the wall like the awesome badasses we are. I gave Frankie a thumbs up. He winked in response.

"Bonjour, mon cheri." He greeted blondie in a smooth voice.

She spun around quickly. "Lol, what?"

Frankie blinked. "Ehem... Excuse me. May I ask you what your name might be?"

She smiled. "Oh! Leia!" a giggle escaped her glossy lips. "Leia Hiddleton."

"Leia." He repeated. "And what a beautiful name for a beautiful girl such as yourself."

"I know right!?"

I think (and by I think I mean I know because the awesome me always knows) That he stopped listening at that point.

"Eh, Leia, what do you think about comming with me and my two friends after school?"

She looked over at us. I nodded and Anthony waved enthusiastically.

Leia tilted her head to the side. "Well... I don't know if I have any plans. I was gonna go out to eat al lunch with my girls but I'm talking to you instead... Hmmm... Where are we going to go?"

He smiled. "Back to our house, if that's not a problem."

Leia's face suddenly changed from one of blissful ignorance to one of disgust. "Uhm, I-I have plans now that I think about it. For the rest of my life!"

The girl attempted to run but Anthony and the awesome me were instantly blocking her path.

"No, no. Don't run chica!" My much tanner friend chirped as he stepped uncomfortably close to her.

"We don't bite." Frankie cooed as he did the same.

"Much." I finished with a smirk before following my friend's examples.

She gasped and let out a little squeak before yelling. "H-Help!"

Which wouldn't have been too much of a problem. We just needed to get her to stay here so we could calm her down and talk her into it. Contrary to popular and lame belief, we aren't rapists.

We just get more ass than anyone else with smooth words.

Anyways, her yelling wouldn't have been too much of a problem if it weren't for a certian person with a certian hero obsession hadn't heard.

Al Motherfucking Jones...

His obnoxious voice rang through the otherwise empty hallway due to everyone else being at lunch. "Was that a cry for help I heard? Have no fear! Your hero is here!"

"Fich..." I swore under my breath. "Why isn't he stuffing his face with the others like always?"

Al Motherfucking Jones rounded the corner and saw us, pressed against the hot blond girl who looked like she was going to have a panic attack.

"Fich" I swore again, backing away from her quickly as the rest of my trio did the same.

"Hey!" Al Motherfucking Jones yelled. "What do you think you're doing?!" He came at us with fists clenched and we backed off.

I don't care who you are, you do not want to get hit by Al Motherfucking Jones.

Frankie and Anthony ran off to the lunchroom. I told them I wasn't hungry. So instead I stayed behind to watch the two.

"So," The blond boy asked. "What happened here?"

"Well, those boys, like, asked me out on a date. But then it got really creepy." Leia replied with a shaky voice.

"You should stay away from them. They go after girls who dress like you."

"What do you mean?" And again her ignorance showed.

"Well, you're showing a lot of skin there... Oh!" His eyes suddenly got bright and he removed his favorite bomber jacket he foud a couple days ago under his bed. "Take this. It'll cover you up some." He said as he draped th jacket over her shoulders.

The ditzy girl giggled and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks. What's your name?"

My jaw dropped. _What did he do that we couldn't pull off?_

Al sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Al, Al Jones."

"Leia Hiddleton."

Al smiled an put an arm over her shoulder. "Well miss Leia, if you ever find yourself in trouble again, just know that you have a hero keeping an eye on you." His stomache growled. "Heh, now do you wanna go get some lunch?"

"Hehe, Sure!"

And they left.

I need to consult with the boys about this...


End file.
